Very hard to write again. Been quiet too long.

Friday, 15 February 2019

Consequences


From Conan: The Blood-Stained Crown and other short stories.

Now, in the tale this line is used as a way to incentivize taking a course of action, because the action in question, the action to be taken, is the right one to take, and furthermore; to commit to taking it in spite of the possible negative consequences.

But it can of course also be read in another way:
If you embark on a course of action, the consequences might indeed turn out to be damned. And in that case, you will be forced to deal with whatever comes your way.

Friday, 1 February 2019

An upcoming post

I'll be sharing some very personal stuff quite soon. I'll start off with a long e-mail, probably divided into a few posts (because of its extreme length) that I sent to someone in response to certain events, to explore certain problems and to work my way through certain traumatic experiences. I'll include the response to that mail, though I'll have to translate it first. I'll also have to edit both mails to protect the identity of the parties involved.
Then I'll give my reaction to the response mail, or rather, what I think of it. At this point, a reaction is neither wanted, or even merited.

I'll also share what that original mail was supposed to be. I was forced to send in my unfinished efforts due to outside pressure, even though I had more to say and still felt the need to explain myself more. This is only relevant to me as a perfectionist, as I don't believe it would have affected the response even if I had sent it the way that I ended up finishing it.
That finished product will be found in a page on the side-bar of the blog below 'Personal Stuff'. I'll put it there so that even when we're a number of posts down the line, it'll still be possible to find it with just a click of a button. It'll be there because it is hugely relevant to me, my life and character, and as a way for you readers to get to know how my autism affects my everyday life.

Hmmm. Maybe I'll just make it a page about my autism...
I'll think a while on this, as there is no immediate rush to get it done.

This is obviously very personal stuff and I'm going to be sharing it as honestly as I could make it.
As such, because this is my way of doing things, besides being rather explicit and really quite dark at times, it is a massive wall of text and filled with everything I could think of that had even the slightest bearing on the matter. This is out of a desire to be understood. Transparency is honesty, and though this is obviously only my side of the story, what I've written will be able to speak for itself.
Where events were coloured by feelings and guesswork I've made a mention of it. Where I wasn't sure about certain facts, I've made a mention of it.

This is about me and someone else and it'll be extremely close and personal. If you're here for the genre/comic/novel stuff this naturally won't be for you. This is for the people that I keep close to me, who will be able to find my story if they care.

If you are one of those; if you know me personally then you know what this text might mean, and I do invite you to get to know some of the worst parts of me.

This needs to be shared because I've carried this all on my own for too long. And because when I finally did share it, I shared it with someone who ended up using it for their own agenda. Who used it as an excuse, and for their own gain, and who discarded both my feelings, my well-being and my future.

This might take a while to post, even though all of it has been written already. Because of reasons, I'll hold off on sharing it this month. Expect it somewhere in march, 15th at the latest.